Powerful stuff! And true. Managing the meaning of these relationships and events was a full time job in my family — on both sides.

Mom’s eldest brother married a Catholic, their family was not included in reunions, memorial services or inheritances. Dad’s father died when he was in high school, and the divorce when he was two years old, in the 1930s was worse. But worse yet, was the maintenance of the myth of not-gayness. Both sides of this family demonstrated implicitly the punishment that awaited those that did not uphold the myths of our grandparents.

The problem was that one never knew if one had lost their inheritance, or regained it. The release valve for their children and grandchildren was alcoholism, sex addiction, and complex health problems.