We need our own laugh tracks. Photos of our most inspirational fans lined up in front of us.

OR

Recite to the audience our worst Lucille Ball-moment.

Here’s one for you: I passed a handsome intern in the hallway at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center. Did not turn my head to look back, but smiled at him and pulled open the toor for the stairway. Then walked straight into the janitor’s closet!

You got ‘em too, I know you do.

Radio listeners might appreciate hearing a choice one — not in your book.